


Acidic Lips Tell Lies

by sugarfreesuga



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Childhood Friends, Daniel is a millionaire, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Ong is not so rich, OngNiel is science, Or a rather failed princess and the pauper modern take I guess?, Pining, Romance, Some typical chaebol AU, future smut?, if you guys want
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-02-15 03:42:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13022517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarfreesuga/pseuds/sugarfreesuga
Summary: A single lottery ticket, and Kang Daniel, your average high school student merely scraping by, was turned into a multi millionaire overnight.Ong Seongwoo, first love of Daniel, ran away from home and returned four years after with empty pockets and a declined card.





	1. Splintered Illusions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning: this story will be slotted with chunks of flashbacks, and will occasionally switch from the present to the past.
> 
> Present- normal wording style
> 
> Flashbacks- italics
> 
> There might be sexual content in the future chapters to come, but for now, I'll not be rating this mature ^^"
> 
> TW: Brief mentions of non-graphic self-harm in this chapter.

Love.

Love, Daniel had learned, was pretty much toxic sugarcoated in lies and deception. Love was either an everlasting joy, or a fleeting ethereality- ephemeral, like stardust. Love stole one's breath, made them vulnerable to their knees, and when it abandoned them, only darkness would be inked in the once radiant cavity of their heart, filling up the void with negativity and despair.

When love shed its outer layers of faked joviality and assurance, there would be nothing but heavy, bitter angst in the core. Polluting, manifesting fear in all of its sinful beauty.

Daniel was once curious, wanting to taste what love was like, whether it would be sweet like fondue, or enthralling like anaesthetised high. He had a spoonful, a spoonful too much to step back and regret his decisions, before it was ripped away from him- slowly, like ice-cold water inching up his lungs the more he struggled, the more he breathed. It was painful- almost unbearable- and it had only taken a spoonful for the side-effects to start kicking in his systems.

Kang Daniel was seventeen when Ong Seongwoo left him.

Kang Daniel was seventeen when Ong Seongwoo disappeared from his life and from the city of Busan, leaving behind only the warmth of his kiss and the ghost of his touch.

Kang Daniel was seventeen when he had first learned of love and heartbreak, the most beautiful yet devastating combination that injected nothing but hopelessness in him.

Love was, indeed, scary.

 

~

 

"You have a total of three meetings today. You will be meeting Kim Jaehwan later in the morning at nine o' clock for the partnered charity ball event-"

"Can't we postpone the meeting to tomorrow? Tell Jaehwan I really can't stand looking at his face so early on such a fine Monday morning."

"Daniel," Jisung frowned, his hands immediately coming to rest on his hips, looking thoroughly unimpressed. "You're just making up excuses. Don't be such a kid and go attend that meeting. And he's your friend too, for God's sake."

Daniel groaned, slapping his cheek on the surface of his desk, a flair of his habitual dramatics, and proceeded to whine out loud in a high-pitched tone, voice unknowingly hitting a perfect soprano, to which Jisung winced.

"He's my friend, yes, all the more reasons for him to understand. It's just the discussion for the venue selection of the charity ball and how much is to be invested in the props. No biggie, right?"

Jisung sent Daniel a contrite gaze his way. The younger knew he was not going to be the one to behold the triumph in the argument, but he was stubbornly recalcitrant, and one might even say he was childish.

"Nope. You actually have to transfer the payment by the end of this week to the supplier for the props, and you have yet to even go through the list." Jisung stated in a clipped tone, if not slightly irritated.

"Fuck, fine. Show me the list."

"Language, honey," The scowl etched on the ridges of Jisung's lips deepened, and Daniel could even see a prominent vein on the latter's forehead bulging. "And I've already sent you the list via email a couple weeks ago, you just didn't bother checking it in favor of watching cute cat videos on YouTube. Don't think I don't know. I always know."

Daniel pouted. "But cats are love, cats are life! They are the only reason of my sole existence right now."

Jisung rolled his eyes, his knuckles gripping the stack of notes and files whitening. He honestly didn't get paid enough to babysit Daniel's whining ass, if he may say so himself.

Daniel was a fine man, with killer looks and perfect body proportions. He was one the most wealthiest and well-known bachelors in the whole of Korea, females and males alike swooned and lusted over him. He had everything he could have at just a sheet of signed cheque; loaded bank accounts and uncountable estate properties; yet Jisung knew his most desired wish couldn't be fulfilled despite his glamorous riches and enticing luxuries.

A lover, perhaps. A high school sweetheart that got away and never to be found again, to be more accurate. A love story gone tragic, very sadly so.

Beneath his carefree attitude and easygoing personality, Jisung knew Daniel was hurting inside. For four years already, four agonizing years. Jisung had stuck with Daniel like glue ever since high school, moved to the heart of Seoul with him, and he was now his personal secretary after his abrupt rise to the limelight- a bond of loyalty no one even dared to question.

Jisung didn't like admitting it, but he cared deeply for the younger. It was crazily unfathomable how much so, but he knew he would always be by Daniel's side, call him a protective mother hen or not.

"Whatever. Go through the list first and then meet up with Jaehwan at nine. There would another meeting at two in the afternoon with Kim Corporations, and right after that, your presence would be needed to sort out the contract of the newly-built grand hotel in Itaewon with Jonghyun at five. You are free for the rest of the evening then."

Daniel slumped his back, unbelievably bored out of his mind, and propped his feet up on the edge of the table. "Jisung hyung. You know that I really love you, right?"

"Goddammit, Kang Daniel. You don't get to bribe me with all your plastic compliments, Jesus. And don't forget, I'm already taken. I'm deeply apologetic to say that it is beyond my capacity to return your confession." Jisung replied, sarcasm heavy in his intonations. He then wiped an invisible tear away from the corner of his eye and started to weep, very much exaggerated.

"Gosh. Get out of my office, you bastard," Daniel moaned in defeat, sending a manila folder that was perched atop his desk amongst the messy piles of crinkled paper flying in Jisung's direction. The rectangular item chucked Jisung square in the face and he yelped, to which Daniel smirked haughtily, taking joy in his friend's sufferings.

"I'm going to Sungwoon now then," Jisung announced after, a smile naturally winding on his face, stretching till it reached his cheekbones- no doubt fantasizing about his boyfriend. "I'll have your assistant on standby at nine to accompany you to Jaehwan's. Better make sure to read through the list, or I'm having your head."

"Is that the way to be talking to your boss?"

"Oh Daniel," Jisung batted his eyelashes like a damsel in distress, his hand clutched over his heart. "You know I love you too, honey. Don't get too hung up on it."

"Go away already before I fire you myself!"

A cacophonous howl of echoing snickers was what Daniel heard last before the door slammed shut. He sighed once, before reaching for his tablet, resuming the cat video he had previously watched before Jisung's unannounced entrance.

And skimming through the list? Hell no.

 

~

 

_Ong Seongwoo was everything Kang Daniel wasn't._

_At a mere age of fourteen, a couple handful of years shy from being an adult, Seongwoo had the possession of all commodities desired on his very fingertips. Popularity, breathtaking looks, a genius mind with an IQ of a hundred and fifty, and a good-natured personality._

_Everyone adored him, loved him. He was the golden child of the Ong household, ever so kind and generous. Always smiling with full buttercream cheeks of unmatured puberty and eyes curved into lunette slits. His very being brought the pledge of success and red A-pluses on all exam papers for his future to come, one that was so bright that it lured all the moths to be attracted at such a dazzling promise._

_Seongwoo was Daniel's new neighbor._

_The vacant single-storied house that was furnished with a Victorian flair of jagged rooftops and lifeless grey walls had been empty for almost five months before Seongwoo and his family accommodated the space. The previous owner had been a bitter old woman, nasty and churlish, thorns adorning her words whenever she opened her thin lips that was weathered with wrinkles. Daniel wasn't fond of her, and was glad when she moved away to reside with her daughter in the countryside._

_In the span of the five fugacious months, he would frequently stare out the window from the small of his room, bored whenever his mother confiscated his phone- ordering him to do something productive instead._

_The gleaming rays of the sun drowned the empty house with its golden warmth adjacent to his own, outlining the sharp edges that was embellished with threads of silvery cobwebs and peeling paint. It wasn't for another week, a small family of three was seen lugging bags and belongings to and fro from the once desolate house._

_"Hello, my name is One Seongwoo. I'm your new neighbor!"_

_Daniel didn't like Seongwoo when they were first introduced. At all._

_He was too optimistic, too cheery for his liking. It was a vast contrast to the almost emotionally-detached character of Daniel's. Seongwoo's constant jubilation was what made his childish loathe for him augment._

_Gunmetal hue tinted in his hair and irises a shade darker, Seongwoo donned an easy smile on his full pinkish lips. He wore an oversized knitted cardigan with stone-washed jeans and worn, blue Converses._

_His features were soft- almost feminine. He looked as if he had never been tinged by the evildoings of the unjust world, only purity and innocence screaming from just his seraphic face._

_A sliver of Daniel wanted to ruin that, tarnish the radiance and let depravity and darkness consume Seongwoo whole. Let him have a slight flavour of the evil, and make him bend at the very cusp, to the point of breaking._

_Seongwoo didn't know about Daniel._

_Dark, dark Daniel._

_Daniel's life was a concoction of sordid shambles, the light in his eyes snuffed out already from a very young age- like a diminishing candle. He learned things the hard way, with no perfect childhood and fairytale youth._

_His mother juggled a hectic work life with three different part-time jobs, from dawn till dusk, to support Daniel and his bum of a father. Despite that, they still hadn't had enough to feed their own mouths; Daniel often had to go to sleep without a proper dinner; and he knew electricity and water bills weren't going to be magically paid by themselves either._

_He had depression._

_There were scars decorating his arms from the countless times he had skimmed blades through his flesh- the mixture of immense pain pinpricking against his skin along with his glassy, quavering vision was one that was too addicting. Addicting, but Daniel was an absolute coward when it came to matters of death._

_He still loved the idea of it, somehow strangely so._

_But when Daniel was faced with Seongwoo; oh sweet charming Seongwoo; under the picturesque apex of a summer vista sky, he was left hollow, as if someone had carved out his insides raw and left his viscera out to rot._

_He was reminded of how different they were: Seongwoo was a brilliant prodigy, the next big thing, a shining star in the whorls of clouds. Daniel was... nothing. Nothing compared to Seongwoo._

_A failure._

_He had heaved a sigh then, forced the corners of his mouth to uplift, hopefully into something acceptable- nothing too garish._

_"I'm Daniel. Kang Daniel. Nice to meet you."_

 

~

 

"I'll have you know that everything is under control," Jaehwan said as he bit into a chicken wing, barbeque sauce streaking his cheeks. "Don't worry your pretty little head over such miscellaneous matters."

Daniel scoffed, bringing the can of beer to his lips- dewy at metallic surface. "So you called me over, faked this meeting, just so I could treat you to a meal? You're terrible, Jaehwan. Absolutely terrible."

"Oh, I think you mean, such a genius?" Jaehwan cackled boisterously, sounding like a psychotic hyena on the loose. "Don't be upset, sweetheart. I only wanted a meal with you. You're so busy nowadays that you don't even pick up your phone when I call you up. How am I supposed to see my best buddy when things are like that, hm?"

"I'm actually not that busy. I was just ignor-"

"Anyways! Yes. This year's charity ball is going to be a bomb. Spectacular. Five-stars amazing. Mind-blowin'." Jaehwan beamed, chewing rather loudly for Daniel's taste.

Daniel shook his head, a fond smile lingering on his lips. He placed the empty beer can on the coffee table and leaned back in his seat, fishing out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Jaehwan flashed a transient grimace, but Daniel pretended not to notice. He lit up a cigarette.

"It's too early for you to be smoking. It's only what, nine?"

"It's never too early for something. Though if I may add, it's too early for beer too."

Jaehwan waggled a lithe finger at Daniel, a plucked eyebrow arching to emphasise his gesture. "Beer is a different story. We're not in high school anymore, we adults can drink whenever we want."

Daniel hummed lightly, inhaling a lungful of the cigarette smoke. The nicotine condensed in the column of his throat like a whiskey burn, bold and scorching- a bittersweet foundation. Tempting and enticing in all abstracts of grey. He exhaled.

"High school," Daniel staggered a breath. "Is fucking nonsense. I never even learned a thing there. It's one huge torrid amalgamation of underaged drinking, sightless partying, and merciless heartbreaks."

Jaehwan thrummed in silent acknowledgement.

"You speak as if you had experienced the worst first love ever."

Daniel chuckled humorlessly, an empty carapace of laughter, a silhouette of miserable implications and the same mistakes over and over again. He filled his lungs once again with poison and toxins, letting it cloud over his mind. A momentary ecstasy, before the haze disappeared yet again. 

"Nah, it was more of a rueful one. I would never regret the love and the affection I felt for him, definitely not. It's just that- I let him go when I could convince him to stay. I let him disappear when I could have him in my arms and kiss him like he ached for me to. I let him... run away."

"You sounded like an asshole."

Daniel soundlessly agreed. It was true, he was.

"You still like him?"

Daniel laughed at that, grin stretching his lips to reveal flushed gums and neat rows of pearls. He raked his silver tresses back, away from his face, only for the stray locks to flop back into his eyes. His shoulders shook, his grip on the cigarette stick loosening.

"Jaehwan," Daniel whispered shakily after the laughter died down, dissipating away like flecks of ash in a drought. "I love him."

Jaehwan noted the present tense used. He kept silent.

"He was the first and last person I had loved, someone I would devote my fucking useless life to. Someone I would readily jump off a cliff for. Hell, I wouldn't even mind one bit if I was back to being the broke-assed high schooler I once was if I could have him one last time, and I actually like my life now."

A beat of hesitation.

"Have you ever stopped looking for him, though?"

Daniel stamped out the cigarette, allowing a small, melancholic smile to grace his features.

"No. I would never not."

 

~

 

_Seongwoo was fifteen._

_Daniel was fourteen._

_Daniel had thought the elder was simply gorgeous, enchanting even._

_Seongwoo had his legs crossed, back against a tree. His sugar pale skin was bleached under the assault of daybreak, the apples of his cheeks tinctured a rosy coral. It seemed as if heaven had glorified Earth with one of its holy creatures, an angel cladded in tight jeans and soiled sneakers dirtied with damp ground._

_He had lost almost all of his cherubic baby fat from a year ago, melting into diamond-cut jawlines and svelte curves. He didn't seem like a boy anymore, his bedtime was probably past twelve now._

_Seongwoo had looked up then, at Daniel._

_Eyes ringed with coppery bronze, Daniel found himself lost in the expense of alluring kaleidoscopic conjuration. His midnight-black pupils were a harsh juxtaposition against the pellucid sclerae, and Daniel found all of it beautiful. Seongwoo was beautiful._

_"Daniel?"_

_Seongwoo had voiced, a cloyingly saccharine note. His face was shadowed orange in the glow of the jaundiced sunlight, lighting up like Christmas lights._

_He seemed happy to see Daniel._

_"Yeah?" The younger had responded, plopping down next to Seongwoo. Immediately, a waft of citrus and tumble-dried laundry tickled his senses. Seongwoo smelled nice, fresh- Daniel thought. Like salty sea breeze and ocean wave serenades._

_"How's summer break going for you? Planning for any road trips or perhaps even, out-of-country visits?" Seongwoo questioned, scooting closer to Daniel so that their thighs touched._

_The harmless question made Daniel rethink about his mother, about their current financial status. About his single penny in his coin bank, cardboard mansions and dinnerless midnights._

_About blades against skin._

_Definitely not a trip this year. Or the next either, and the subsequent years._

_So Daniel listened to Seongwoo ramble about sandy beaches in Haeundae, white-foamed coasts in Jeju island, and the neon and electric-infused skyscrapers in Seoul. Listened to Seongwoo mention how much he wanted to reside in Seoul when he was of age, finding a proper job there- getting rich, getting old._

_Daniel let blunt canines dig in to dry and flaking layers of his bottom lip, shut his eyes briefly, picked at a loose thread in his ripped skinnies._

_Daniel didn't even know how his future would be mapped out. Would he mind- no, would his family mind if he died a little much too young, choked on biting isolation a tad bit faster? Would they care enough to bring him Lilies, did they even have enough for flowers?_

_Daniel didn't have proper answers to his endless train of half-developed thoughts, for Seongwoo was leaning much too close to him, ebony strands imbued with coconut essence brushing against the sensitivity of his neck._

_Daniel held a breath._

_"I'm sorry, I talk too much. Am I tiring you out?" Seongwoo halted in between his speech of historical art museums in central Daejeon, to scrutinize at Daniel, face inching closer- a millimeter by a second. Too close, for Daniel could clearly discern the hot breath hitting just underneath his jaw. He swallowed thickly, and leaned further away from the elder. Too close, indeed._

_His eyes trailed to the set of birthmarks imprinted underneath Seongwoo's waterline. It was arranged like a constellation, pretty against its owner's skin. Daniel didn't have much time to admire the latter's face, before Seongwoo backed away instantaneously, as if he had been faced by all of his worst fears in front of his eyes- taunting, mocking him._

_Daniel didn't want to be associated as one of those fears, yet he did nothing but stare back, eyelids owlish._

_A kind of sadness flickered in Seongwoo's depthless orbs; albeit it came as fast as it went; but it was neither hurt or melancholia. It was something... Daniel couldn't put a finger on._

_He didn't like that something, whatever it was. It made Seongwoo gloomy._

_"I- I know you don't really like me," Seongwoo had bit out sotto voce, head hanging. His fingers clenched over grass, and it simultaneously felt as if invisible grips were pulling at Daniel's heartstrings- tugging and tugging. "You don't talk to me but I... want to be your friend. I don't know if you'll ever accept me, but if there's anything I can do..."_

_Seongwoo trailed off, as if his voice box had collapsed on him, like words had failed him. His sentences were like shattered glass shards- painful, and guillotine whiplashes- even more painful._

_Daniel eyed Seongwoo for a moment, from his streamlined nose to his birthmarks, yet again. Thought- things didn't have to be so difficult despite the world being difficult, and encapsulated one of Seongwoo's palm in his own larger one._

_Seongwoo looked up in shock, this time his eyes glimmering with something akin to cautious gaiety. It was much more familiar, an expression that defined Seongwoo well._

_The very pit of Daniel's stomach bubbled like an effervescent tablet had been dropped into it, felt a strange little check at his heart, like his stomach had just leaped up to high-five it through the walls of his diaphragm. He was glad, squeezing their conjoined hands once._

_"Tell me more about your dreams."_

 

~

 

Daniel, twenty-one, a little older and a little more exhausted, dreamt of his seventeen-year-old self: of fading, desaturated memories of essay projects and principal office journeys. He remembered the hours spent in detention and the unpolished floors of the school's dance club, the room where he used to practice his B-Boying tricks.

Remembered Seongwoo- his eyes, nose, lips, moles, everything. His voice and his kisses of homecoming.

It would be a nice story to tell to his children one day; a considerable bedtime tale perhaps; let them learn of his many mistakes so they wouldn't follow in their father's footsteps. Oh, and tell them not to secretly buy lottery tickets too.

Just, don't be like Daniel, in general.

Twenty-one, and reeking of leathered Armani and Tommy Hilfiger, Daniel was lonely. He was too rich, too known for the world- his face caked in makeup spread on magazine covers and billboard posters, enlarged to his very pore. His treatises were published in gossip columns, and maybe even a dating rumor with a Russian top model floating around somewhere.

Netizens dug and dug, unearthed all of his information, until Daniel had none left to spare for kept privacy; except for his runaway first love. He was determined to keep Seongwoo a confidential detail, a personal dirty secret.

The people had learned that Daniel was once a poor lad, and a shaded lottery ticket later, he was announced a multi millionaire.

Daniel still found it miraculous no matter how many times he pondered over the fact, even after four years. One day he had extra pocket money tucked in the breast pocket of his shirt, then a few notes lesser, he had a pencil and a ticket in hand, and ticked off numbers, mind blank. He hadn't had any special or lucky numbers, so he went with Seongwoo's birthday date and a couple random digits thrown in.

His intention was more of a spur-of-the-moment gamble.

In all honesty, he didn't even remember his purchase until much later, when the blurred screen of his cranky, decade-old box television flashed the exact numbers he had shaded on the ticket paper. Everything was a disoriented blur then, as if a film reel was viewed underwater. Daniel vaguely remembered someone screaming, probably his mother, something cracking, a yell, and then he was forced into tailor-made suits and a limited edition gold Rolex on his wrist- all of which combined costed thousands more than his monochromatic life spendings.

He bid college a farewell, constructed an empire under his name instead. Quality hotels, restaurants, housing districts. Bought his family a better sanctuary in Seoul too, a hundred branded Gucci handbags for his mother.

He had heard numerous accounts of lottery winners losing their money within mere days over sparkling casinos, slots and painted poker chips. Daniel wasn't one of them. He wasn't interested in the wheels or the flashing jackpot lights, he was rich enough to last years- decades even if he made the right financial choices and business motives.

And then maybe one day, he would meet Seongwoo.

Daniel still believed- hoped, Seongwoo was out there, somewhere. Walking along the streets, scribbling in his battered notebook, or maybe even thinking about four years ago, about Daniel. Alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked the first chapter, and would stay for the next as well <3 Seongwoo's official appearance (in present times) will be presented a couple chapters in, and I promise this fic wouldn't be too... angsty? Haha.
> 
> It's my first Ongniel work, so I'm a bit insecure about posting this.
> 
> Comments are motivation ~
> 
> Cross-posted on AFF: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1309020/acidic-lips-tell-lies-romance-alternateau-produce101-ongniel-wannaone-nielong-millionairedaniel


	2. Esoteric Impulses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder;
> 
> Present- normal wording style
> 
> Flashbacks- italics

It was crisp outside, the chill slowly sifting into Daniel’s paper-thin clothes. It was moments like that; sometime around two to three in the zenith of the morning; solitude had decided to wrap him up in its hands of icy desolation.

Daniel jerked awake then, frowned at the bitter hollowness of his chest. It was cold, too cold.

He was in bed, had slept for over an hour or so, as the glaring numerals of crimson displayed on his digital clock indicated.

He had forgotten to shut the door to his balcony; wispy tendrils of breeze weaving in through the dense air. It was not a full moon out but somehow close to it, the glow still very subdued, spilling across the coverlet like watery silk.

Daniel rose from his warm sheets, padded across the palatial space of his bedroom. Perched his hand at the edge of the sliding glass. Let the wind slither through his hair.

He was deadly tired, darkened highlights painted underneath his eyes. He knew tomorrow- today, really- he would be all sore during work. He would be tired. His joints wooden stiff as he typed something away on his computer. His lips compressed, his orders frank and pinched and resounding through the air like a bullwhip. The workers would scuttle and try their very best not to raise their voices. Jisung would be kept mum. No witty quips and lame jokes in the office.

And yet the protagonist itself would still manage to emerge so flawlessly: meetings aced, clients pleased and each report submitted on due time like a perfect bullseye- the list running taut from case to case like pearls strung on thread. They would wrap up early.

But right now, Daniel could feel his bones shake, yawns tumbling out his mouth endlessly like Niagara Falls. He could head back to bed- clock out for a few more hours before his alarm would ring, or go make himself a steaming mug of coffee and stay wide awake till whatever goddamned hour of time, he didn't care. He was used to it.

It was still cold, but for some reasons, it was not the cold of the loneliness that enshrouded Daniel's form. He had found it comforting then, almost impenetrable. He shifted his gaze upwards, eyed the clump of stars bleeding into the void of the night.

Seongwoo's birthmarks. How similar. Breath-stoppingly beautiful, gorgeous. Intriguing.

Daniel turned away, shut the balcony door. He scuffled back to bed, and buried himself within the mountains of pillows and linen- willing, no, forcing himself back to sleep.

He had then remembered yesterday, nine in the morning, with Jaehwan-

"Jaehwan, if it was you-”

Jaehwan looked at him. Waited. Smiled, even.

Daniel swallowed harshly. He didn't even know why he was asking. Suddenly, it seemed like it was an illogical thing to voice between them, into the typical lethargic Monday forenoon- into a world carrying on with its usual business. Into a world with much bigger problems.

"If it was me,” Jaehwan shrugged, then swiftly sheared his words off, all clean-cut. "No, I’d rather not say. It _isn’t_  me. This isn’t something anybody else can give you advice on. Everyone has differing opinions, and I may not be the right one to provide for what you want to hear. I don't have someone I love who ran away, I'm not searching high and low for said person, and I'm definitely not feeling as if the world has ended on me. This is all up to you, Daniel. Not me.”

"So you wouldn't search for him, if it was you?"

"I didn't say that, but... I wouldn’t, actually. I'm someone who would let fate play around with things. If you're supposed to meet whoever this is, you are bound to coincide one day. If not, well, I don't know. Like I said, you should be the one making the choices here.”

Daniel's throat worked soundlessly, trying to process through the ache blossoming in his lower abdomen. A damp stung in his eyes and he had to furiously blink it back before it gathered to masses.

"Okay,” Daniel ducked his chin, agreed. "Okay.”

Fate.

Fate was an utter devilry then.

 

~

 

_"Daniel."_

_"Daniel, wake up."_

_There was a hand insistently shaking his shoulders, and Daniel cracked open his eyes to a flood of lights. He groaned, squinting to adjust his peripherals better._

_He had half-expected to wake up to an infuriated teacher looming over his desk, demanding why he had been snoozing off in class instead of paying attention to properties of cycloalkanes and functional groups he didn't at all bother about._

_Instead, he was met with Seongwoo's sunshine smile and perfect, perfect face._

_"Daniel, finally. I've been calling your name for the past minute or so and Jesus- are you drooling?"_

_Daniel immediately shot his head up from his desk, a trail of saliva dribbling off his chin and landing onto the fluorescent-inked pages of his Chemistry textbook._

_Seongwoo swooped in with napkins he produced from his pockets, wiping at the damp spot on the paper without so much of a flinch. He shut the book and scrunched up the used tissues when he was done._

_"Seongwoo hyung?" Daniel asked, voice concentrated with sleep. "What are you doing here?"_

_Seongwoo was a year above Daniel. They had different classes and different schedules. Different friends, too. They weren't supposed to meet within the school compounds with purpose until dismissal, where they walked home together._

_Daniel was aware of the stares and the discreet whispers behind palms then. He knew what his classmates were murmuring about- Ong Seongwoo, the valedictorian and the pretty-faced senior of the school, was friends with the rebellious, good-for-nothing badboy Kang Daniel? Since when? Why even?_

_"Oh, nothing much. Do you want to head to lunch with me? I've got free period and I know Mrs. Lee is absent for today so your Biology class is canceled. You're basically exempted as of now."_

_"Since when do you know my timetable?"_

_"Since you told me, dummy," Seongwoo grinned, all million-watt. "So, what do you say? Lunch?"_

_Daniel sighed, and slowly nodded. "What would you do if I had said otherwise?"_

_Seongwoo's lips broadened under the half-light, hands reaching out to tug at Daniel's arm. A wing-tip touch at first; gone just as quickly as one's breath; before he enveloped Daniel's calloused palm in his, and pulled the other to his feet._

_Daniel felt his heart stammer, skipped a beat. There was a warm feeling._

_"I wouldn't do anything, but you wouldn't have a single taste of my mother's fine culinary skills then. Your loss." Seongwoo gestured towards a miniature tower of Tupperwares stacked on the table then, encased in a plastic bag._

_"Your mother packed lunch?"_

_"Duh. It's not like I can manage a kitchen without setting something up in flames. So yes, of course. Naturally."_

_Seongwoo led Daniel out of the class still embraced in soft applauses of mutters and quiet judgments, not even a hint of regard distorting his facials. He walked them past bustling corridors and halls, up flights of spiraled staircases, and through doors after doors._

_Eventually, Seongwoo waltzed into the backdrop of an open terrace, his form small against the limitless baby blue sky and ivied rooftops. From there, Daniel could see over the landscape of the school and past the crooked telephone lines, onto the space that was so unreachable to him. A space that was nothing more but filled with crumbled hopes and dreams. A space filled with trances of Seongwoo._

_The latter urged Daniel to sit on the floor, and so he did. They settled close, thighs brushing, containers clacking as it was unceremoniously deposited onto the cracked concrete ground. Seongwoo looked bright as he excitedly unboxed the food; lunch boxes filled to the brim with kimchi stew, bimbimbap and tteokbokki; a myriad of home-cooked meals with a touch of mother's love._

_"Thanks." Daniel said, as Seongwoo handed him a pair of disposable chopsticks. Somehow, his voice didn't come off as enthusiastic as he willed it to, and Seongwoo was studying him then. Daniel ignored it, instead bringing a piece of rice cake into his mouth._

_"Hey, you okay?" Seongwoo inquired, jaw locked. Eyes harder._

_Daniel looked up, furrowed his eyebrows. The food lodged against the insides of his cheeks tasted stale as Seongwoo kept his unwavering expression._

_"Why wouldn't I be?"_

_"No, it's just- well, you don't look okay," Seongwoo replied at last, concern lacing his tone like a sheen of ice. "I don't know what's bothering you, but you know you can confide in me anytime, Niel-ah."_

_Daniel's stomach lurched, and it was not because of the food._

_It was simply not as easy as it seemed._

_All Daniel wanted to do was to grab at Seongwoo's wrists like a lifeline, bring him down and scream in his face that his feelings for him were more than normal friendship behavior. That this thing- his stupid crush on the elder- had stepped off the line of pure platonic affection and catapulted in something much more dangerous._

_A carnal desire, perhaps._

_But Daniel didn't voice that out loud, did not feel the need to. Seongwoo wasn't obliged to know, he was straight after all._

_So Daniel merely nodded, and let the worried lines of Seongwoo's forehead fade away. Let his shoulders tense with worry slowly sag and the muscles under his cheekbones go soft._

_It was better like this. Most probably so._

_They lapsed into quietude afterwards. Seongwoo had begun eating; chopsticks mutedly clicking against plastic; but it was clear from his unorthodoxed eyes that his mind was elsewhere- floating through thoughts after thoughts._

_Seongwoo had looked like a boy chasing after father's goals, a boy with fire dancing in his eyes. He was one with ballpoint pen stains on the sleeves of his shirt and distressed hair tuggings at semester exams. At the end of the day, Seongwoo was still Seongwoo. The Seongwoo who was straight and who preferred long hairs and busted chests. Someone who couldn't return Daniel's feelings._

_It definitely was better like this, Daniel reminded himself all over again._

_They would remain friends, nothing more, nothing less. Daniel would still be the one Seongwoo called up at one in the morning and Seongwoo would still be attending to Daniel's injuries after dance practices. They would be friends as they always were; with arms around waists or heads on shoulders, and if not, it would be masked closeness and softened blanket mirages._

_Then Daniel stopped halfway. He was lying to himself. He knew it._

_They would never be the same._

_They packed the empty containers when they were done filling their stomachs and brushed their pants as they got up, unsure of where to head to next. Daniel's free period was ending soon, so he figured he should head back before the next teacher dropped by. For Seongwoo, honestly he didn't even know what the other would do._

_"Can I ask you a question?" Daniel found himself blurting out before his brain could even modify his words._

_Seongwoo had looked up fast, eager somehow. "Sure. Anything. What is it?"_

_"Would you... Would you be sad if I died?"_

_It was a meaningless question bordering close to pivotal interpretations, to actual meanings and hard truths. A nasty intention dressed with an innocent facade._

_There was a pause- a pregnant silence- and Daniel didn't hear Seongwoo's answer. That, or Seongwoo didn't want to respond. Chose not to. Daniel assured himself to the erstwhile prospect._

_Either way, the next thing Seongwoo enunciated was, "You should go back to class. Your period just ended."_

_And so Daniel did. Seongwoo didn't smile up at him as he usually would._

 

~

 

"So Jaehwan sent over the lineup of potential guests that would be attending the charity ball-" Jisung announced, handing over loose sheets of printed paper fastened together with a clip to Daniel. "Here. This time, I expect you to go through it carefully. There are actually people here that you need to leave a good impression on for them to fork out their donations."

"Fine," Daniel huffed petulantly. "Also, do you actually know that the meeting yesterday with Jaehwan was actually just a 'buddies-bonding-over-breakfast' time? We didn't even have any work-related matters discussed."

Jisung looked awfully scandalized. His mouth dropped and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "God Almighty, Jaehwan did what now?"

"You're an atheist, Jisung. What God Almighty shit are you exactly blabbering about?"

"Hush, Daniel. You do not say a profanity together with God's name in one sentence. You shall be condemned," Jisung tutted, shaking his head lightly. "But seriously? Jaehwan? That little scoundrel. I cannot believe that I raised him up to be like this!"

"Now you sound like a mom," Daniel rolled his eyes, lazily picking up the heap of papers. "I mean, when have you ever not?"

That statement received a shove to his arm and it was either Daniel was _that_ strong or Jisung was _that_ weak, because the latter didn't even budge a millimeter as he was haphazardly pushed.

Eventually, Daniel did read through the papers as he was instructed to, leonine eyes skimming through the list with practiced expertise.

"Hwang Minhyun?" 

"Ah. Minhyun," Jisung's voice thinned as his lips pulled to the side. "He's an up and rising model in the fashion industry. Heard he came from a rich background. One of the highly expected investors for the event."

Daniel hummed. "And how do you know that? He may be just some stingy fellow that prefers spending his money over branded clothes than to the charity."

"Because unlike you, dear Daniel, one who made a purchase of diamond necklaces for his cats just the day before- may I remind- Minhyun is generous."

"Excuse you, I _am_ generous," Daniel scoffed. "If I wasn't, you would still be begging on my feet for a pay rise. Your salary is almost triple the amount my normal employees get."

"Well, if you really want to claim the title of generosity that bad, I guess you might as well make my pay quadruple the amount then..." Jisung added in coyly, tracing a finger along the desk.

"Deal." Daniel grinned boyishly, and even then, his bank account would still remain the same.

 

~

 

_Ong Seongwoo was a valedictorian._

_Ong Seongwoo was a senior, a prodigy, a model student to most._

_He would be found cloaked in white button-downs tucked into neat slacks with shined Oxfords and brushed hair. A perfect student representative._

_But the immaculate Seongwoo- geared instead in a pleather jacket, the tightest pair of pants to ever grace humankind, and lace-up combat boots- was still the same Seongwoo Daniel knew and admired._

_His jet-black hair was unstyled and uncared for, wild as it skimmed his eyes. A thin choker strap looped around the svelte of his neck, and it would be a total lie if Daniel said it didn't make him feel hot and bothered._

_Seongwoo stumbled slightly as he made his way towards Daniel, and he would have fallen flat onto his face if it wasn't for the younger who steadied him by a firm grip on his pelvis._

_"Why aren't you drinking? Are you a wuss when it comes to alcohol, my Niellie?"_

_It was crystal clear from the way Seongwoo slurred his syllables with his breath that stunk of uncountable vodka shots that he was drunk. Very drunk._

_It was all Seongwoo's fault, really. When the pair decided that dinner by the 24/7 fast food joint wasn't enough, they had walked along the streets with a mission to hunt for finger foods by vendor carts._

_Somehow, they had ended up turning a corner of an alley and walking right into pigmented smoke and shuddering neon lights. Booming bass tracks that were instilled with way too sexual lyrics seeped into every nook and crannies of the darkened avenue from open bars lit aglow with sporadic luminescence._

_Turned out the bouncer of one of the clubs was an acquaintance of Seongwoo's, and he had helped sneak them into the establishment despite the underage drinking policy._

_While Daniel decided to just sit out on the drinks, Seongwoo drowned himself in it. Chugged down liters and liters of liquor that his limited budget couldn't afford but the random stranger he had successfully wooed with his silver tongue could. Some rich bastard._

_"I'm not drinking. I need to bring you home safe."_

_"What an excuse," Seongwoo clicked his tongue, but he didn't look annoyed. He was far too gone from being level-headed to be able to function the right emotions. "I'm a big boy myself. I can get home perfectly safe and sound."_

_Daniel arched a single brow, and allowed an off-kilter smirk to angle at the ridges of his lips. His hold on Seongwoo loosened, and almost immediately the elder was toppling forward like an egg made to stand on its own, crashing against the hard muscles of Daniel's front._

_"See that? You can't even stand on your own. How am I supposed to let you walk home by yourself without making sure you don't wander to another country accidentally?" Daniel quipped, slanting his body slightly to effectively slot Seongwoo's skinny built around his arms._

_"But I don't want to go home," Seongwoo had hiccupped, looking up at Daniel with glistening eyes, penciled liner vaguely smudged at the edges of his lids. His bottom lip jutted out. "Don't make me go home just yet, Niel-ah."_

_It was then; something so sharp and electric slinging through Daniel's insides, a rapid-fire succession like a plunging house of cards. His line of vision stuttered before it was being redirected elsewhere, his cheeks wildfiring an unfathomable heat._

_Daniel could feel his frailty kicking in instantaneously- the way his torso was telescoping inwards, the gradual crush of it like being disoriented underwater. He knew his delicate weakness when it came to Seongwoo, but he didn't know the consequences of being so close to him. It was empowering- so, so intimidating._

_"What do you suggest we do, then?" Daniel let out a bated breath, quaking as it slipped out of his throat._

_Seongwoo scrunched up his face like a pitted prune, as if he was thinking hard, before he leaned in close to whisper against the shell of Daniel's ear, hot air mingling against even hotter skin._

_"Why don't we dance, hm? Together. You like dancing, don't you? So dance with me."_

_Daniel didn't get a say or another passing beat of hesitation before he was pulled towards the dance floor. He couldn't think- the blood pounding through his veins rendering him speechless- the protest simply dying on his tongue like a wilted flower in winter._

_Seongwoo came to an abrupt stop then, whirling around. Conjoined hands broke free. Seongwoo boldly stepped into Daniel's personal space, bringing him closer and closer- heartbeats racing faster and faster._

_There were too many people with too much sensual movements around- sweaty skin rubbing against skin with the filthiest noises exacted, telltale indication of Jack Daniels red crawling up the back of their necks. The audio systems thrummed a low stereo echo, but all of it were mere background noises and images in Daniel's hypersensitive awareness._

_Because- Seongwoo's face was so near. So, so near that Daniel could count the number of his eyelashes, reminisce over the moles of his cheek even. There were metals in Seongwoo's lobes and clustered on his narrow fingers, supernovas in his eyes. Arms journeyed skywards to hang around Daniel's neck, and slowly, knifing hipbones started to sway to the tempo of the music._

_Daniel reluctantly placed his hands on both sides of Seongwoo's waist, matching his gestures as he moved his awkwardly long limbs. He was distantly aware that the particular choice of music was for heavy choreographies and fierce head-bangings; what with the people erotically grinding their bodies together; and that they were the only two individuals slow dancing in the middle of the segmented floor under the vivid disco lights._

_"Hey, Daniel?"_

_Seongwoo paused momentarily, and he sounded almost as if he was sober. The words landed clean and clear between them like bullets fired, and there was some sort of raw intensity that reeled Daniel in with his husky, timbred voice- like a soundless inner scream of steel on steel._

_With a tone chipped down to a bare-bones rasp, Daniel acknowledged the question, not knowing what to fully expect. "Yeah?"_

_"I would be sad."_

_Daniel was the one who stopped this time, palms stiffening against Seongwoo's skin._

_"...What are you saying?"_

_The elder leaned in, until there was only a miniscule gap between them- as if he was admitting a secret that no one should know except for Daniel._

_"I would be sad. I would be sad if you died."_

_Daniel held on tighter to Seongwoo then, and the music stopped altogether._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know this is late and all but, Happy New Year ^^ Hoping for good health to all of you as well as your beloved families.
> 
> Along with that, I want to express my utmost thanks for your interest in this story. The first chapter had received plenty of love and I want to ensure to be able to return my gratitude by providing better (aka shitty ;u;) future chapters and also to read other's OngNiel stories if I hadn't.
> 
> Another point I would like to add- Hwang Minhyun was introduced briefly in this chapter. He will have a role in this story, and not just a measly cameo if that's what you're thinking :p
> 
> Also please excuse my grammar. My English isn't the best :')
> 
> Comments are motivation ~


	3. Bittersweet Deception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder;
> 
> Present- normal wording style
> 
> Flashbacks- italics

It was a Friday. 

Daniel had finished up early. No overtimes given to his workers, an early break in commemoration of the upcoming weekend. The employees had left with easy smiles and a bow, politely offering Daniel to join them for dinner by the nearby hawker stalls. He had merely shook his head, and they had brushed it off, shrugging.

Jisung didn't think too much of it, packing up his briefcase and peacoat under his arm as he bid his boss a parting term.

When Daniel stepped out of the building complex, the sun was still fringing across the horizon, shadows dragging long and spindly across the asphalt like burnt honey. He had decided to walk home. He didn't bring his car in that morning.

It was the last month of summer that had the temperatures slowing rolling down to a humid, crisp air; when the heat wasn't acting like a compressed second layer to skin. There was the slight cool breeze wafting up papered leaves, the ringing dissonance of children's shrill laughters in the distance. There was the melting ice-cream cone trickling over sticky fingers, bare feet buried in hot seaside sand even. But the summers in Seoul... weren't alike to those in Busan. Minute differences those were- minute, but quintessential in a way.

This time, he didn't have Seongwoo with him. By his side, cracking an inside joke only the two of them understood. Chortling together. No.

Daniel found it simply ironic himself; how walking down a familiar pathway home could have lead to such thoughts. He wasn't much surprised though- his mind had always carouselled around that matter- of a hundred unanswered questions and what if's- like, what if Seongwoo hadn't left? Would they still be together, as best friends? Something more? It had been four years already, and yet he couldn't seem to let go of his first love. 

Seongwoo this, and Seongwoo that.

Frankly, he was sick of it. How his betrayal of a brain couldn't lay the issue a rest. How- every fucking time every single thing; whether it be walking home at a fine evening on an equally fine Friday, or even just blindly groping over a stranger's flesh for a paid night of sex and sin; he would be reminded of Seongwoo, all over again.

Daniel redirected his route then, taking the narrow back alley to lead him to a convenience store.

He needed a cigarette. 

 

~

 

_It was Seongwoo's last year of highschool._

_With a full scholarship under his name, a prestigious college awaited his presence- red carpet, upscale congratulations, and all that jazz- the best in the whole of Korea, supposedly. He deserved that much, at the very least._

_Daniel should be feeling proud of his best friend, elated even. All the different synonyms of happiness. But he wasn't._

_Just- wasn't._

_There was a crowd, bijou at the alcove of a dimly-lit bar. All of Seongwoo's friends- acute delight pressed on their faces, celebrating future goodbyes and quotes of empty nostalgia. Exchanging hugs and occasionally tipping back shots._

_Daniel simply sat at the far end, quietly sipping his malt whiskey. Letting the ice cubes collide against stained glass as he swirled his wrist. He felt like an outsider. An intruder to Seongwoo's own personal circle of acquaintances._

_What was he thinking? No, what was he doing here?_

_But Daniel knew, when Seongwoo slipped a verbal invitation to him that evening, his protests and defenses would be absolutely futile. Not when the elder had their hands laced and a smile tugged askew._

_Daniel easily agreed in a heartbeat, and Seongwoo had stepped in, arms enveloping around the younger's shoulders. It was like home and warm quilts then- a pleasant, effervescent feeling. No complicated emotions or underlying intentions._

_Daniel also knew, that night, as he sat alone at the bar- Seongwoo was different somehow. His grin broader but the straight edges and sloped tangents weren't even close to uplifting his eyes. It appeared plastic. He didn't smell like nature and fresh dew anymore- probably bathed in cologne and musky aftershave instead. His words calculated and posture ramrod rigid. Everything seemed artificial, as if fabricated from scripts and commands._

_It was then, when Daniel brought the drink up to his lips, he saw Park Jihoon. Salutatorian. Darling of all hearts. Wouldn't hurt a fly if he tried._

_Pinning Seongwoo against the wall. Disarrayed fingers flat against stomach, grazing skin under fabric._

_Jihoon was gorgeous, that Daniel would admit. Blonde hair a neat gel-scraped tuft on his head with tinted oxblood red lips. His face buried in suffocating layers of bronzer, glitter eyeshadow flecked on his eyelids like moonshine. All of his features flawless and guaranteed to earn him brownie points from teenagers and older women._

_And maybe even Seongwoo, perhaps._

_But when Jihoon's chin had dipped a little lower into the hollow cavity of Seongwoo's neck, Daniel had felt something ignite within him- scorching white pain. The kind of pain that dug your insides out with sharpened claws and poisoned promises. His calm shattering like porcelain thrown at a wall, disintegrating beyond repair._

_He had wanted to fling the glass in his hand across the room, get up and march over to pry the pair apart. At least, do something. Because- Seongwoo was his..._

_Wasn't he?_

_No._

_But still, Daniel had thought, but still. Best friends._

_He’d thought that they were safe._

_And so he had watched Jihoon ravage Seongwoo's neck, the elder's head lolling backwards. Black hair dripping into his eyes like calligraphy ink, mouth unzipping to let out wrecked, breathy sounds- the most beautiful._

_Daniel couldn't move no matter how much he wished to. It felt as if his limbs were put into a deadbolt and screwed into place. A voice was screaming at him; at the back of his head; to move, move, move. Lacerating at his conscience and tearing down his composure, because- fucking move already._

_In the end, he just sat there. Observing. Still unable to move._

_Seongwoo had met his gaze much later. Instantly, his smile was more of a eerie, haunting chasm. The thin gold lighting lacquered over the side of his face, the soft-lit glow of his monolid falling to a half-mast in the pitch darkness. Jihoon had retreated slightly, and Daniel spied a shiny blue-black bruise embossed against Seongwoo's otherwise pearlescent skin. He had raised his vision, and caught the elder staring back._

_Seongwoo had smirked._

_This time, Daniel could register his legs resurrecting, his bones clicking in perfect place. He had got up, knocked down the empty glass in his haste, and made his way towards the exit of the bar instead- not looking back once._

_Such a coward, the voice in his head had whispered, before it thinned into nothingness._

_Daniel couldn't agree more, really._

 

~

 

"Face to the right a little, chin up... maintain that gaze and... yes, there. Perfect. Now don't move."

Suddenly there was an instantaneous floodlight of spasmodic fluorescence, a million shutter count going off at once. Seongwoo squinted slightly, the back of his eyes flashing echoed pixels of green and red. 

"Alright. Now, show off a hard, feral look. Get the passion in your eyes, Seongwoo. Look seductive."

Seongwoo did as he was told; arching his neck, teeth gently tugging at his lipbalm-coated lower lip. He bent forward gingerly, just enough to show a sliver of milky, unmarked skin outlined by the plunging neckline of his silk shirt. He schooled his facial features into something deemed acceptable of longing temptation, and heard the orchestrated clickings of fingers braced over camera keys later.

The photoshoot passed by with fabricated pastel backdrops and lightings, nimble fingers under jaw and a ferocious set of eyes. Seongwoo himself didn't even know how many varying poses he had performed already, but the slight ache blooming up the block of his spine from sitting for too long, that he knew.

It wasn't even that good of a job actually- modeling. Sitting or standing around for hours looking pretty all dolled-up. It wasn't Seongwoo's thing, but awhile ago someone had complimented his photogenic visuals- a rare inborn treasury of charm or something like that. He looked good, he knew that all too well, but if a person were to tell Seongwoo of four years ago that his future job would be of a model, he would laugh. Cackle, even. Because, what the hell? He wanted to be a lawyer. All prestigiousness with the disgustingly sweet pay.

But here he was. Four years later, a rookie model for minor, irrelevant magazine cover pages nobody would spare a look at, much less their wallets. Lawyer, who again? Definitely not Seongwoo. Now he could laugh at the past him; all those silly childish dreams meant only to be dreams and nothing more. The paycheck was awful too. He barely had enough to feed his own mouth.

And after all, beggars couldn't be choosers, could they? Seongwoo built the future path for himself, and modeling was where he crash-landed at. It was the only thing he could do- look beautiful. And what would be of him once his face started marring down with time and age? Beauty was only so much of a temporary asset.

It was all expected for a college dropout who didn't even properly finish highschool. Having a full scholarship even- and yet he busted the chance. He left everything behind, everyone- Daniel.

Daniel.

A voice cut through his thoughts like a knife through butter, and Seongwoo could vaguely register the director wrapping things up in the background. He hopped off the stool he sat on in a hurry, bowing as he scurried away from the makeshift set. The longer he spent in the cramped perimeter of the filming studio, the more he wanted to rip his hair out. He was too exhausted to even abide by proper coherence at that point, and when he bumped into something- someone, he almost let a curse slip.

"Woah, Ong. Headed somewhere?"

That voice, the fond familiarness that had Seongwoo's insides similar to the contents of a shaken soda can.

"What do you want, Hwang?"

Minhyun simpered, tipping on the balls of his feet to loom over Seongwoo just a tad.

"My, haven't you worked your panties up in a bunch here. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, hm?"

"Fuck off, Minhyun. Go find someone else to bother."

Minhyun raised an eyebrow, and something in him easily shifted; something so miniscule. His eyes softened. "I didn't mean to make you feel like that. I'm sorry. Had a hard time today?"

Seongwoo sighed, nodded. It was frankly the same as any other day, and he knew Minhyun had it tougher than him. A rising model with his god-given looks and traits, who wouldn't want him on their commercial programmes or photobooks? He was walking down the paved flower path to the limelight and stardom, so of course his schedules would be packed.

Even under the sheen of concealer patted on his face, Seongwoo could still decipher Minhyun's swollen eyebags, the crooked strain of his smile. How he looked so... dead, and how he wasn't even complaining- putting on a bright front like everything was okay.

Seongwoo felt ashamed.

Minhyun took a step forward, extended an arm. When his palm brushed across Seongwoo's cheek, it had the latter twisting his face sideways to fit into the touch as if it was all natural, leaning in, his lashes fluttering shut, a low hum shuddering out of his throat.

Minhyun stopped unexpectedly then, like he had just realized something- the gel left in Seongwoo’s hair crumbling out of its immaculate shape between Minhyun's roaming fingertips.

"I'm sorry, uh- I didn't mean to do that."

Seongwoo found it funny how Minhyun's ears glowed with a scarlet hue, his usually composed image dissolving.

"What are you sorry for? It was all friendly. No need to apologize."

"Of course. It was all friendly," Minhyun finally managed, sporting a kink in his tone. Seongwoo didn't know what that meant. "Of course."

The conversation died down just like that, and Seongwoo had thought to excuse himself. But before he could voice out his wish, Minhyun spoke up again.

"So, um. My shoot finishes at eight tonight, or so. Can I go over to your place then, later? That is, if you don't mind. We can have alcohol and chill out, watch shitty Netflix dramas, anything. Just like how we used to."

Seongwoo really, really didn't want to. He was dead tired, and all he wanted to do was to sleep and sleep again. But seeing the hopeful look on Minhyun's face conquered greatly over his greedy selfishness. The duo had been too caught up in work to even hang out- with Minhyun getting more and more offers on his plate and Seongwoo, well, doing his own thing- and the mere prospect of a cordial bonding time was almost like a blue moon occurrence.

"Fine," Seongwoo begrudgingly bit out. "I'll stop by the store for some soju on my way home then. I ran out a couple days ago."

Minhyun pumped a fist in the air, his body physically ringing in absolute elation. He looked like a child given permission to an arcade for the whole day while on a sugar high; and Seongwoo smiled. Couldn't help it.

The thing about Hwang Minhyun: steadfast, precise; those erudite eyes never missing a beat. Easy sometimes to take him for granted, although you would learn quickly enough not to.

Something swelled in the crevice of Seongwoo’s chest, making it hard for him to speak for a moment. The feeling came as quickly as it went though- leaving behind a gasping, acetous remnant.

"I'll meet you at eight-thirty," Minhyun said, an all-teeth grin forming gradually, the lovely brushstroke glide of it across the heart of his mouth. "I'll have takeover with me. Jajangmyeon or pizza?

"Pizza. Please, no pineapples. You forget that every single time."

Minhyun sniggered. "Of course, princess. See you later then."

With that, Minhyun strode over to the makeup station, letting the hairstylists and makeup artists fuss over his hair and face in preparation for his next set of shootings. His fringe flared a bright, ashen silver in the blinding studio lights.

Seongwoo turned around, heading for the lift. Stepping in the metallic cubicle, the twinned doors slid shut behind him with a squeaky, pneumatic rasp.

 

~

 

_There was a tap on the window._

_Once, then twice. Too rhythmic for it to be a mere nature's coincidence._

_Daniel spun around from his place on the bed, looking out the window of his bedroom whilst putting down the sheaf of paper he had to review for his language assignment. A furrow immediately wedged its way in between his eyebrows._

_It was Seongwoo. Giggles seeping out of his lips as he waved around rather frantically. Hair softly ruffled by the midnight wind. It was then Daniel realized that the elder was just hovering by the decaying tree trunk situated just outside the window, feet dangling precariously over a bony wooden branch._

_Daniel hurried over, and slid the glass open._

_"What the hell are you doing here? Do you even know what time it is? Jesus- just, fucking climb in first."_

_Seongwoo laughed lightly, and shoved his right leg into the cramped opening of the window and the ledge, before hoisting his slender body through. Daniel took a step back as the elder landed safely into his bedroom with a muted clutter._

_"Hey, Niellie."_

_"Hey yourself," Daniel grumbled as he shut the window, the atmosphere immediately stilling into stale warmth. He hadn't seen Seongwoo since that night at the bar. "Don't ever do something ridiculous like that again, hyung. You could fall and break your neck, and I'm telling you the tree branches out there are pretty frail."_

_"It's okay, I'm fine. Still alive. See?" Seongwoo protracted to his full height and twirled around in front of Daniel, arms spread apart. "Don't worry about it. Anyways, are your parents asleep or...?"_

_"They are," Daniel crossed his arms, flattened his mouth. "If you haven't realized, it's ass o' clock in the morning. Why are you here even? We can just meet up at school tomorrow."_

_Seongwoo didn't say anything at first, ambling towards Daniel's bed to flump his dead weight onto the downy mattress and eiderdown, stretching his limbs as he got comfortable, joints creaking._

_"I just wanted to meet you. Here, with just us two," an audible sigh crawled out of Seongwoo- so broken, but not exactly. Fragile, instead. His last words had blurred into each other at the end, losing its momentum, as if it was a wistful last glimpse at melancholy. "It's not quite the same at school."_

_For a while, there was just silence- quietude stretched over teetering tenterhooks. Daniel didn't know if there was any meaning behind Seongwoo's implications, but if there was- how was he supposed to stomach that? It almost felt too intimate, too raw. Anything unlike the usual exuberant Seongwoo of sunshines and clever witticisms._

_Daniel slowly inched towards his bed, cautiously settling down on the opposite side. Hesitated. Felt like he was balancing on the deck of a shipwreck- unsteady. Ready to crash and drown._

_Finally; "Tell me why you're here, hyung."_

_Seongwoo looked up at Daniel swiftly, dark pupils considering. "Niel..."_

_"Go on."_

_"I don't want you to get mad."_

_"I'll be the judge of that. Now, tell me."_

_"Fine. I... I like Jihoon."_

_Daniel thought he had heard wrongly. "What?"_

_"I like Jihoon," Seongwoo sat up abruptly, staring straight into Daniel's eyes, hands desperately fumbling forward to intertwine their fingers together. Just like best friends did. "Park Jihoon." He repeated again, this time much more determined, stable. Syllables barely rising above the constant hum of the air-conditioning._

_Daniel let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. "You're not gay."_

_"I-I'm not. I mean, I'm bisexual," Seongwoo stopped, grunted. The valley of his thighs jumping in poorly-concealed frustration. "I don't know. I like Jihoon, I guess."_

_Suddenly, Daniel felt as if he had received a sharp uppercut punch to his face, there and gone. Waking him up to reality. But even so, it didn't equalize to the amount of pain Seongwoo's statement carried. No, nothing could ever._

_Here he was, Kang Daniel. Seongwoo's number two pick. The one who got tossed aside eventually. The one who was never enough._

_Kang Daniel was never, never enough._

_It was the plain, horrible truth- and he didn't need words to spell it out for him._

_"Good for you," Daniel bit out, didn't even mean to say that. He looked away. There was something constricting in his chest, like an ice cube had been lodged halfway down his esophagus._

_Daniel got it, he thought- Park Jihoon was like a train wreck in slow motion. Pretty innocence, pert little rosebud mouth. Those wide kohl-smudged eyes always open to suggestion. It was not an even playing field by any means. Park Jihoon was like Seongwoo; equally dangerous._

_"I know you've got something else to-"_

_"No, I don't."_

_So harsh, and so cold._

_"Niel-ah. Daniel," Seongwoo pressed on, pinching down on their fingers until it hurt, carving nail shaped divots there. "Please..." He trailed off, voice crumbling and dying when air became too little, almost asphyxiating- didn't know what to do, or say for that matter._

_"What do you want?"_

_Seongwoo flinched at the austere tone used upon him, and Daniel almost felt sorry. Almost._

_"Please, please. Please, Niellie," A smooth palm snaked over the soft of Daniel's cheek, supplicating. "Say something."_

_Daniel clenched his fists, all white-knuckled, before prying Seongwoo's wrist away; delicately._

_"I'm sorry."_

_He didn't really mean that, in all honesty._

_Afterwards, Seongwoo stayed the night. Left before sunrise like a fleeting memory; an imperceptible doubt. Missing from school for a day, then two, then more._

_(A knock on Seongwoo's front door._

_"Good day, auntie. Is Seongwoo in?"_

_A frown. There was confusion then._

_"Wait- isn't he with you, Daniel?")_

 

~

 

Seongwoo entered the convenience store- the tiny bell jingling above his head- long legs bringing him through the attenuated aisles he was all too used to. He passed by the racks of junk food and laundry detergents, heading straight towards the section by the far end meant only for liquor.

As he stopped before the shelf of the only soju brand he liked, the store's bell rattled again- signaling a new customer. Seongwoo didn't pay it much mind.

He scanned the rows of bottles neatly lined up in his line of vision, contemplating. There seemed to be a new flavour- peach. He reckoned the taste would be something like cough syrup; feigned sugary tang with a horrendous acrid aftertaste. Sounded like a liquefied nightmare. Quickly, he shoved four bottles of the original, classic soju under his arms, grabbing an extra peach-flavoured one for Minhyun at the last second. He decided that Minhyun should be the one to die first if ever the fruity soju poisoned him.

Seongwoo briskly cruised back to the front of the store, settling all five bottles onto the cashier counter with a simultaneous clink of glass against marble countertop.

The girl behind the counter proceeded with scanning a bottle, multiplying the rest on the cash register later.

"That will be 10,000 won in total. Will you be paying by card or cash?" The girl announced after she rung up the exact amount, one hand already dipping beneath the counter to fetch a plastic bag.

"Card." Seongwoo immediately replied, handing her his credit card. The girl took it, swiped it against the reader once, before her face twisted into a crease.

"It didn't go through," she uttered, before repeating the step she did before. "No luck. Still the same."

Seongwoo could feel the rising embarrassment creep up the back of his neck, and he was sure his cheeks would have been coloured the same as well. A declined card? Surely that couldn't be it. "C-Can you try again? I'm sure that there is some sort of glitch in the system."

The girl looked irritated. "Sir, I'm positive that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the system, but your card, on the other hand, it seems..."

Seongwoo flushed even further. He could hear someone fall in line behind him, the faint screech of worn-out soles scuffling against unpolished tiles. The fact that someone was at his back and possibly listening into the very much humiliating conversation made it seem worse by a tenfold.

Shoving the thought of his card either being expired or god forbid- creditless for some strangely unknown reason, Seongwoo felt inside his pocket for loose, spare change. "Hold on a second, I'll pay by cash th-" 

And shit. He didn't have any money at hand either. Shit shit shit. Shit, indeed.

Brain distressedly running at a speed Seongwoo hadn't ever thought possible before, he warily plucked his card back from the girl's grasp and laughed nervously; cold, icy sweat dampening the back of his shirt from sheer mortification.

"I guess I'll just put these ba-"

But before Seongwoo could even collect the bottles; let alone touch it; a foreign shoulder from behind nudged him away and aside- a single cigarette box placed on the conveyer belt proceeding towards the cashier.

"I'll help pay for him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oKAY. I FINALLY UPDATED. 
> 
> Apologies to everyone who waited, patiently or otherwise- uni is absolutely driving me crazy @@ I've been so busy with assignments and homeworks and just... send help ;u;
> 
> But okay, enough of my personal rants. Time for a little 'explanation' of the story :p
> 
> I've introduced two new relationships involving Seongwoo here- Jihoon from the past and Minhyun of the current times. Firstly, Seongwoo's relationship with Jihoon is reallyyy minor here, so I won't be writing more about him in the future aside for maybe brief mentions. For Minhyun, well, I'm not sure yet if he is going to play a major role in Seongwoo's life, but he will (and I repeat, he will) appear more in the story- like a significant side character of some sort. But any close relations with Seongwoo... that I'll leave it up to your imaginations for the time being as I've not really concreted anything yet ;)
> 
> aND YES, ONGNIEL IS STILL THE MAIN, DON'T WORRY.
> 
> Also also also, unrelated to the story, bUT!!! I ATTENDED W1'S FANMEET LAST MONTH IN KL!!! :'DDD I got to meet the whole crew asdfghjkl so if anyone is interested to read my experience, here's the link to my blog post: https://www.asianfanfics.com/blog/view/1241787 (shameless self-promo orz)
> 
> Comments are motivation ~


	4. Ummm?!??

............should I update this fic lmao @u@" I have abandoned this for long enough and I really don't know if I should continue or not. 


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